What a year!
It started out great. Jan. 1 was my first official day as an independant business owner, keeping all my awesome clients happy with clean houses and businesses. In the same month my oldest son left his wife and childeren at home to go serve our country and spend some time in Kuwait supporting the troops in Iraq. That wasnt a great part but I am very proud of him and thankful for his willingness to sacrifice for the good of others.
In Feburary I got offered an appartment through social housing....Finally, after 18 months of living in a sub-let that was less than fit for human habitat and being really sick 2 winters long because of that draughty place, I was getting my own appartment!! Never mind that it needed painting and floor covering, my own place, FINALLY! It isnt done yet and I have been here since March 1st...oh well, slow and steady wins the race. I will get it done...eventually.
Until August it was pretty much getting settled, taking on some new clients, getting my weeks worth of work in place. I spent the day working, came home to my new haven, spent some of the evening on Skype with my sweetheart, keeping our long distance relationship going. Making wedding plans. All was right with the world. He was even thinking of moving here because he knew that I loved my life here and it appealed to him as well. Especially if he had car trouble!!
Life was, for the most part, good! Our only concerns was who was going to move where. Or so we thought.
Most of you know that Tom was my first husband, the father of my sons. We had been in each others lives since I was 15 years old. We didnt always get along and that happens with families, but we were always friends even through all the rough times. No matter what our relationship was at any given moment, we loved each other. Period.
My last blog was August 13.....two days later, my world fell apart. I always got a text message from my Tommy around 2pm my time, 8am east coast time. Sometimes those texts came through immediately, sometimes it took awhile. At 4pm on Monday, August 15..no text, so I called, no answer. That wasnt unusual, sometimes he was in the cooler at work or on the cooks line and couldnt answer the phone. In that case I would get a text, within a few minutes, asking me to call again. No text, again, not unusual. I was still getting a little antsy. I called again at 4:30, no answer. At 5pm (my time) I had been at a clients for an hour and called again. This time someone answered, but it wasnt Tom. He had collapsed the night before, after we got off Skype. His work went and found him the next morning after "Johnny on the Spot" didn't show up for his shift. It was the neighbor who answered his phone. Tests revealed that he had Stage 4 mastastic lung cancer to the brain.
The entire next week was a whirlwind of emotions. My little brother arranged a ticket for the 22nd, giving me time to notify my clients, make mail pick up arrangements, get packed and have my new place ready to be abandoned for 4 weeks. THEN I realized, my American passport had expired in Dec 2010. I suddenly realized that I had a whole other hill of ants to get around! As an American citizen, you are required to travel to the States on your American passport. It has to be current, so my current Dutch passport was not doing me any good. I called the American Consulate in Amsterdam and asked what I needed to do......"Get a letter from his doctor and be here at 8:30 in the morning". Meaning that I had to have this letter e-mailed to me, print it out, get on the first bus to the train station, get on the train to Amsterdam Central Station, get on a tram to the Museumplein and get in line at the Consulate by 8:30am. I managed it. By 9am I had all my forms filled out and was told to come back at 2:20pm to get my emergency passport. I used those hours to try to calm myself. I was going home to take care of my sweetheart.
Monday, Aug 22 was fly day!! Thomas was already there from Kuwait and had been for a few days, taking over for his brother who was the first to get to Lexington. My neighbor got up early to take me to the train station so I would be at the airport in plenty of time. I was getting on the 6:51 train to Amsterdam, Schipol Airport. At 6:30 there was an announcement. Someone had jumped in front of the train between Schagen (where I was) and Heerhugowaard (the next station after Schagen) and the train was not going for who knows how long. At the suggestion of another passenger, I took a bus to a stop that was suppossed to have a bus to get me to a train station that would get me to Schipol on time.....time was ticking. I needed to be at the airport at 9:30, the next bus to that train station was at 8:30...getting me to Schipol at 10am.....NOT GOOD. I thought I would have a heart attack. The same man that talked me into taking that bus flagged cars down until he found one willing to take me to the next train station and he succeded. I got there just in time and was on my way home to my boys and their daddy.
I felt like I was living in a different world the following 4 weeks. The first two weeks making sure that the nurses and aids...(bless most of them)...were taking care of his needs, trying to make their jobs a bit easier by helping him to the chair, or bed, or wherever it was he wanted to be at the moment without calling them (got a lot of flack from them for it, they were worried I would hurt myself). Most of them allowed me to be sweet but one or two got to see my evil side. I also watched them do various things, like change sheets with him laying in the bed..because I knew that I would have to do some of those things later.
On Sept 1 we went in an ambulance from Lexington Ky to Knoxville Tn to my brother and sister-in-loves house. Tom didnt want to go to a hospice facility if he could help it and Mike and Kathy offered their home for his last days. Tom and I stayed in the biggest guest room, with his hospital bed and equipment and a bed for me.Hospice came in some and if I needed something I could call them, which I did, if it was just to ask questions.Kathy was the best support. She made sure we ate and that laundry was done...goodness knows we went through some laundry!! In the meantime Toms daughters, who live in California, were calling and talking to their daddy. I wish they could have seen him smile while he was talking to them. He was very proud of all 4 of his babies!!
On Sept 12 he lost his battle and left us.
That 4 weeks felt like a whole year to me. The weeks that have followed have also felt like a lifetime. I hated seeing him suffer and while I am glad he isnt suffering anymore, I am NOT glad that he isnt here with us.
Our youngest son has since joined the Army and Thomas is back in the States...almost home from Kuwait.......we have all made it through the holidays and the end of the year is almost here.
I will try to blog more in 2012....I know I can find the inspiration....but my biggest goal is to be positive, help where I can and love life......because life is just too darn short.
Tell the people you love that you love them, find the time to laugh with them and give them a hug every chance you get...Until the next time.....
Happy New Year!!!
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